The Mother of all Surveys

Dedicated to Heavy P & LBP

The two biggest survey whores in the world 

1. What is your name? It doesn’t matter what your name is. Yes it does
2. Do you think you have what it takes to complete this? Probably not. indeed I do
3. Are you sober? sometimes
4. Are you feeling naughty? yes
5. Kiss ass or Ass kisser? I’m the one getting the ass kissed
6. Are you a good influence or a bad influence? bad
7. Is your underwear loose, tight or just right? Just right
8. Do survey’s turn you on? nope
9. To diddle or not to diddle?, that is the question. To get diddled that is the answer
10. Ever been caught diddlin? nope
11. Do you prefer dogs or cats? cats
12. Fish or mice? mice
13. Work or play? play
14. Cars or trucks? trucks
15. Beer or wine? beer
16. Have you ever had sex with your boss? Or would you? Depends on the level of sexiness
17. Ever pick up a hitchhiker? nope
18. Would you prefer to be the rescuer or to be rescued? rescuer
19. If you could star in one movie, which one would it be? Debbie does Dallas
20. Which would you choose to travel by boat or plane? plane
21. Favorite song as a kid? One of them was Ah Shuddup a you face
22. Favorite movie as a kid? The wizard of Oz
23. Best moment in your life so far? Now
24. Have you found god yet? Nope, wait, Oh there he is
25. Had any broken bones? Nope not yet
26. Who do you look up to? The Pussy Queen
27. How often do you clean your room? Everyday
28. What size bed do you sleep on? queen for a Queen
29. Do you often dress up as the opposite sex? Never needed to
30. Which place would you prefer to spend the night, in the Amityville house or Bates motel? Amityville
31. What kind of shoes do you wear? heels
32. Have you ever flashed or mooned someone? maybe
33. Oral sex or S&M? S & M
34. How many survey’s have you completed to this date? Very few
35. Would you show this to your parents? Don’t think they would care
36. Pornos? Or Dirty magazines? Ummm pornos
37. What do you sleep in? Undergarments
38. Most romantic moment you’ve ever had? Pizza and sex
39. Do you classify yourself as smart, average or dumbass? All of the above, changes every day
40. Have you ever been on tv? Or would you like to be? Yes on the news
41. Ever been spanked? Do you like it? Yes and yes
42. What inspires you? My pussies
43. Who do you desire? Money
44. What is the weirdest thing you have ever done while driving or riding in the car? I’m not telling
45. Are you turned on yet? nope
46. In regards to boobs, a handful? Or more? To have or to hold. Definitely more
47. Average length of your sexual encounters? 1 hour
48. Food & Sex? Or Toys and Sex? Toys and sex
49. Paper or plastic? both
50. Leather or lace? lace
51. Flowers or Candy? Flowers and Candy
52. Love or money? Money
53. Baths or showers? Baths
54. How often do you make dinner? periodically
55. How many meals do you have each day? On average two
56. Thong? Or Long? thong
57. Do you smell good down there? Most of the time
58. Do you blow your nose? Or pick your nose? blow
59. Would you prefer to go for a walk in the park or forest? forest
60. Have you scratched your ass yet today? probably
61. Rent a movie? Or go to the movies? rent
62. Lick an ass? Or kiss an ass? kiss
63. Do you like water sports? no
64. Is your bed made? yes
65. Your oven clean? So so
66. Best way to piss off your neighbours? Well when I had neighbours, park your car on the grass beside their house  after they called bi law on me
67. Sick of this yet? Not really
68. Noisy or quiet? Quiet please
69. Outgoing or shy? shy
70. Brave or scared? Both
71. Lick it or bite it? Depends what it is
72. Do you like to dance? sometimes
73. Ever strip? On stage or in the bedroom? Yes, not telling where
74. Hay ride or horse ride? Hay ride
75. Favorite swear word? C#nt
76. Playing with yourself yet? Nope, not my job
77. Backdoor or frontdoor? front
78. Favorite cartoon character? Snoopy
79. Favorite time of day/night? night
80. Rock and Roll or Country? Rock n Roll
81. Freddy or Jason? Freddy
82. Would you rather have a room in the basement or attic? basement
83. Do you think surveys are cool? nope
84. Ever pissed or shit your pants? If so did you like it? not as an adult
85. Rain or snow? rain
86. First thing you would do if you met the creator of this survey? Besides bow down to greatness? Pet her turtle
87. Would you rather live beside a graveyard or a school? Most undeniably, definitely graveyard
88. In the country or in the city? country
89. Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil? Jerry Jerry!
90. Best word to describe this survey? Gay
91. Are you sick of it yet? Just about
92. Master or Servant? Pussy Master
93. What kind of vacuum do you have and are you happy with it? Dirt devil, pretty good suction
94. Favorite teacher? Mr. Sands
95. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi of course
96. Do you see dead people? Only in my dreams
97. Do you like brooms? yes
98. E.T. or Predator? E. T.
99. In the closet or out of the closet? Out